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test drive meme

Test Drive Meme The Pan Pacific Defense Corps was usually offered any of a variety of local buildings to set up their testing centers. For reasons of access and availability, most testing clinics were set up in central areas for any given community. Those of the PPDC staff on hand vary in their personal intensity. Some of the men and women wearing Strike Group insignia seemed overly serious, to the point of frowning with intensity at some of the youngest checking in for this testing round. Those from the K-Science division are tight with nervous energy as they direct prospective cadets through various activities. Everything was meant to measure potential, looking for that spark that meant they had somebody who was Drift Compatible. The majority of people were turned away after the first series of seemingly random tests, officials looking in eyes, placing odd looking contraptions over heads, asking for people to play a series of short games, one even in a virtual reality set-up.

	( SCENARIO ONE ) If you are still here now, you've made it past the first cut. You'll be sat down in a room with the rest who have made it this far, then systematically led into smaller interview rooms as pairs. If you came with a partner, they're your first interview candidate. If you came on your own, all your interviews are random assignment. All who have been asked to stay are required to sit through and conduct a series of short peer to peer interviews. The questions are straightforward. What is your least favorite color? Which tool in a standard toolbox is most useful to you? What time of day do you accomplish the most? Do you have children? What do you believe the Drift is like? Peer to peer interviews last for half an hour to an hour, and each person is asked to participate in at least three peer-to-peer interviews. There is no punishment for going off script. There is a one-way mirror looking into each interview area, and one door leading into the room with a small panel of glass located on the door. There is a clock on the wall in each room. The time they report is odd, when examined. These are not digital clocks, but timers, counting up time since the last Kaiju attack.

	( SCENARIO TWO ) Congratulations! You have been judged Drift Compatible, and sent home to pack after giving a definite yes to the Pan Pacific Defense Corps. The next thing you face down is the flight into Santiago, Chile, and the subsequent drive in to Valparaíso's Shatterdome. You and the rest of the crowd of soon to be PPDC Ranger Cadets have been gathered together to wait for the old bus scheduled to take you to the Shatterdome. While waiting in the open air, those from any Northern Hemisphere countries may find the summer weather strange. Today's high is going to be in the upper 80's, and there's not a cloud to be seen that's not clinging to the distant mountains. Welcome to Chile. When the bus arrives, it's another hour ride out toward the coastline to get to the Shatterdome. Even better? The bus Air Conditioner is broken. Safe travels, Cadets!

Please set up your own scenarios as you like. The above two scenarios are suggestions. Anything goes!

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Dammit, that's what he was afraid of. Luke immediately pulls away, distressed and apologetic. "I didn't want you to follow me!"

Wait, that came out wrong, he mentally back peddles. "I mean... I'm happy to see you, but... I can do this. You don't have to help me. I'll... figure it out, even if they fail me here I'll do something. You don't have to do this because of me."

"Geez, Luke," Guy mock-chastises him for the rudeness, an expression of feigned disappointment on his face - though it's mild. It was weirdly grounding to hear Luke be accidentally callous. Well, that's what he got for being honest.

"It's not just because of you." He goes on, putting more solemn honesty in his voice. "I have my own reasons. ...This has been a long time coming, for me. Besides, a lot of this isn't something I'll be able to help you with anyway. You won't be able to help me, either."

Luke frowns, for once not even noticing the chance to be hurt, mock or otherwise, over being chastised, instead fixating more on Guy's attempted reassurance.

"Are you sure...? That, you want to be here, I mean." He almost added 'with me' but held that much back.

An unsettled ache swells in Guy's chest, a reaction he didn't expect or want, and he smiles a little less. It was getting harder to remember, but there was a long time when Luke practically didn't know the meaning of doubt, and certainly wouldn't think to take Guy's answers at more than face value.

But a lot had happened between them, hadn't it?

"Listen when I tell you something the first time," he replies. "You don't have to be that disappointed to see me."

"I. I'm not." It comes out a familiar whine, and he sighs.

"I just don't want..." The words trail off. He's not sure what he wants, or how to phrase it. It's probably not important, anyway. What he wants doesn't matter. "...Sorry." He pauses, trying to think of what the right response would be in this situation, if he hadn't gotten stupidly distracted with his own feelings instead. In the end he offers, a bit hesitantly, "Thanks for coming."

Edited 2014-02-02 22:08 (UTC)

Guy doesn't reply for a moment, just looking at him, his expression going briefly unreadable. Maybe that's an honest reflection of how he feels anyway - he isn't sure what to feel.

But he does feel a bit better.

He reaches over to mess up Luke's hair - not exactly something he'd done for a while, but it was a habit for a few years. A mean-spirited one, to start, but it had slid to something kinder sometime he couldn't place.

"Thanks," he says. "And look. Even if I can't help you be the person you want to be, I can watch over you and be there for you when you need a friend. I'll hold you accountable, okay? Don't think about doing something else, focus on succeeding."

The ruffle that Luke used to brush off with an eye roll or a dismissive whine now causes his cheeks to quietly color while he makes no noise of protest at all, just letting Guy get away with it without comment.

"That's easy to say, but the more I think about it..." So far everyone most of the people he'd interviewed with had know him, at least one had sworn to never let him pilot. "There's no way they're going to let me in. I guess going to Chile wasn't far enough. "

So he'd already been recognized. Well, that was to be expected.

"You had to know there would be other Americans here," he shrugs. He himself would be spotted too, eventually-- he wasn't even fooling himself on that one. Someone that wasn't a childhood friend would get wind of it.

"Wait until you're turned down for that kind of talk. It won't do you any good, alright? Focus."

"I know."

He takes a deep breath, cutting himself off from any more spineless whining. He forces a smile. "Sorry. I'll do my best."

Good. At least Luke was getting better at feeling out when enough was enough.

He smiles back. "Besides, Drift Compatibility has nothing to do with what you're worried about."

It was true. Itn't as if he could promise him he'd manage it - Drift Compatibility had so many elements. Not kindness, not determination, not strength. But that only leveled the field. Now that he was done with his own interviews, he honestly didn't know how he himself would be judged.

"Pretty sure you can't drift with someone who hates your guts." Which, might not be everyone, but it sure felt like it. Still, Luke's tone came out more wry than sulky. He'd been dealing with his unpopularity for a while now. In a lot of ways he could take it in stride.

"Alright, we both know that's not everyone. I thought you were done complaining."

It's blunt and scolding - he really was done hearing about it for now. God help them if Luke wasn't Drift Compatible; Guy would never hear the end of it. He levels a steady, opaque look at Luke, pressing his lips together.

Should he stop there? Change the subject? Did he even have something else to say on that subject - or really, did he have anything he had the guts to say? All he knew how to do with Luke right now was coast, on easy ground, but doing that for too long was already getting harder. There were so many loose strings with half-burned edges. He didn't know where he stood... and he was sure Luke didn't, either.

It wasn't as if he'd been sending him mixed signals, or anything.

"You're not your father, Luke," he says. The words are heavy in his mouth, and they seem far away after he says them. "I'm here for a lot of reasons. But if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be."

Luke winces at the rebuke, looking away. He hadn't meant to sound like he was complaining... Just...

Well, it didn't matter. Guy wanted him to shut up about it so he would.

It used to be he felt like he'd always know what the next word coming out of Guy's mouth would be. Lately he was never really sure. But he couldn't blame Guy for being sick of dealing with him, which is part of why he didn't understand why he'd come.

He still isn't fully meeting Guy's eyes when the other continues to speak, and feels only more distant as the 'reassurances' land. He wasn't worried that he was his father. Guy hadn't ever really understood that part, though maybe Luke hadn't helped. He wasn't really the best at explaining.

But he was done complaining so he just forces another smile, not the most convincing, but he's not the skilled liar here. "Sorry... I mean. Thanks, Guy."

Edited 2014-02-03 04:51 (UTC)

Guy studies him a long moment, hesitating... that hadn't quite had an effect he expected. Think, Guy rebuked himself. Think about what you've never told him, how could he know what you're admitting?

"Hey, Luke. Look at me."

He's not sure what to do, or say. They'd fought, for a long time, but it wasn't just about everything. This kind of conflict - one that's just between the two of them - he has to admit he's not sure how to approach it. What does Luke need right now? What does he need?

When Luke looks up, he looks him in the eyes, and smiles.

"Don't apologize. What I mean is... I thought a lot, after you left. You making this decision, and taking the steps to accomplish it. Even if you're scared or doubtful, you're trying to be someone who changes things -- who helps people. It was inspiring. I thought it was time I did too. I'd been dragging my feet, but I can't ignore what I have to do anymore."

He takes a deep breath, the smile waning off, but - his eyes have a look to them that Luke's rarely seen, raw and tired, but clear.

"So... thank you, Luke."

It takes some effort to look Guy in the eyes... he'd gotten really bad at that lately. Making eye contact with just about anyone he had the feeling was mad at him. With Guy it was a little different. They're relationship had gotten... unpredictable. He knew it was his own fault. Honestly, he was surprised Guy hadn't abandoned him entirely once what his father had done come out.

And then since his father had died, things had just been kind of weird. Luke got the feeling Guy wanted to still be his friend, but was struggling to deal with the sort of person he'd revealed himself to be, and he couldn't really say much in his own defense there. He'd said some pretty awful things.

But he does as he's told, though kind of wishes he could stop and maybe disappear into the ground when Guy keeps talking. He can definitely feel his cheeks on fire.

"I. I haven't even done anything."

He finds himself looking between Guy and the exit behind him. It's not that he didn't appreciate the kindness, or think it was genuine, but... He didn't deserve it. What was the right response? Accept something that wasn't right or turn away a gift from a friend...? He couldn't run away, maybe he could explain without having to do any of those things.

"I mean. You're the one who always... Always did things to help others. That's why I gave you the money. You've been helping people for as long as I've known you. I wouldn't have even had the idea if you weren't around."

He wants to add that chances were he would get kicked out, or get some low end job where he couldn't really help anyone, while Guy went on to become a great pilot, but he had at least learned that would just get him scolded again.

Guy watches and listens as Luke struggles and flounders beneath digesting his compliment and thanks, and his stomach knots a bit again. Was he going to have to get used to that?

Well, he's a little encouraged anyway. Maybe this could still do them both some good. Luke needed looking out for, still. He was deeply lonely too, no mater what he thought he deserved - Guy knew that very well. Anyone not desperate wouldn't have tolerated under how harsh Guy had been to him.

And as for Guy... apart from a chance reunion with an old friend from a lifetime ago, Luke was all he had left.

"It isn't about if I've helped people or not," Guy admits. "... Since my family died... I've just been keeping myself busy. Trying to feel like I was doing what I should, or-- trying to fill a void, I guess. It never really worked," he goes on, light, like it's funny, ha-ha, that he'd be so silly to think it would work. His strained face isn't quite up to speed with his voice. "... None of it worked. And it's because I should have been here. But I couldn't even face it."

Edited 2014-02-03 06:57 (UTC)

Luke pauses, genuinely listening, if still not really able to fully understand. It sounded to him like Guy was being too hard on himself. So what if he had just been keeping busy? He still did more that way than most people did.

"Guy..."

He comes up short on words again, looks away, tries to think.

"You're way too hard on yourself." That about sums it up. "But... if this is what you think you should be doing, then... I really am glad you came."

"Hard on myself, huh..."

Guy hadn't thought about it that way. Was he doing what Luke was doing, judging himself? He wasn't sure. He knew, logically, he'd made some small differences. He'd been thanked a few times. Saved a few lives. But none of it felt like it mattered. He never felt better. He couldn't stop being angry, couldn't feel anything but powerless, just staved off emptiness instead of filling it.

Wasn't that awful of him, to not even care about something so fundamentally important?

He realizes he'd drifted off and looked away, so he snaps back to focus, shaking his head. "If that's true, we have it in common. And I still don't know how I'll do. Like you kindly didn't say, I have a lot of fear to get over. The psychiatrists weren't thrilled."

"They made you talk to shrinks?"

Naturally classy as always, Luke fails to hide his surprise.

"You told them?" That comes out of as incredulous as well. He has to admit, it doesn't sound good. Not that he doesn't believe that Guy of all people could overcome his fear if he wanted to. But he knew not everyone would see that, and he didn't have to shoot himself in the foot by telling them about it. He could've just proved it to them when he found a drift partner.

"Not about the jaegers," Guy sighs, rubbing the back of his neck. His mentality there was exactly the same as Luke was thinking: he could figure that out when he got to it. If anything, if what they seemed to think he was capable of regarding his other fear actually happened, he'd be able to apply it across the board.

"But it would be a little hard to hide that I can't go near women when they assign me one as a sparring partner, wouldn't it."

"Oh... yeah... Man, it's been so long, I almost forgot."

Luke hadn't gone out with friends since the attack on Telluride, so it had been at least that long since he's been in a room with Guy having to avoid a girl's proximity in any kind of obvious way. Some of their friends used to like to tease him about it.

He felt a strange sad pang for those, even knowing now that it was undeserved. He turned his focus back to the matter at hand.

"This is going to be a lot for you, huh?"

Typical of Luke to forget about a problem that isn't his own, Guy automatically thinks -- then dismisses. Luke didn't mean it like that. And it had been a long time since they'd stopped going out.

Besides, he was asking about Guy's feelings just now, and Guy had invited it.

"Yeah." He pauses, turning his eyes to the side. "Apparently, if I'm deemed drift compatible, they'll assign me some doctors." He does not sound thrilled. He turns back to Luke, at least.

"But hey. I think as long as I can see you doing your best, the least I can do is give my best, too."

The inspiration he'd said earlier, the genuine effort on display. Not being alone, which sucked the motivation from him. And less charitable reasons, too - if someone like Luke could change so much to manage it, then really, how could he stand to be outdone?

Edited 2014-02-03 08:35 (UTC)

There's that blush again. Are all conversations with Guy going to get to him this way now? He's still not sure what to make of it, really. But he wasn't going to argue. He knew better than that, even if he found the idea of him inspiring Guy ridiculous at its core.

Didn't give him much of an idea on what to say after something like that, though.

"Okay... Lets both become Jaeger pilots then." His smile comes more easily, if still shyly this time. "Between the two of us, no one will believe it."

Edited 2014-02-03 14:44 (UTC)

Guy is used to Luke being easy to fluster - it's one of the things about Luke he'd always known, really. Luke may have grown up a brat, but he was never able to handle praise or compliments - an awkward sign of the lack at home, which was all too clear to anyone who witnessed his relationship with his father. That - and a few other things about him that had always been kind, despite himself - is all part of why Luke effects Guy so much in the first place.

"That's more like it," he says, and it's genuine.

The crowd is mostly quiet or in small groups like the two of them, murmuring to each other and eyeing one another like the first day of school, and it's getting bigger as the majority finishes up. Guy had heard the PPDC had an almost immediate pass or fail result, once they saw or didn't see what they were looking for... whatever intangible "what" it was.

Would they hear their verdict soon?

Guy doesn't feel like his words have been wasted, and he's far calmer now than before, but it's hard for him feel if there was significant relief between the two of them. He'd been so analytic the last few years, maintaining distance, failing to maintain distance, being temperamentally judgmental... and it wasn't like Luke wasn't an easy read before. But Guy was at the end of his emotional rope right along with Luke now, trying to get a better grip. Everything had gotten complicated, and his relationship and conversations with Luke were frustratingly unpredictable to Guy because of it. He didn't like admitting it, but he knew a lot of that was his own damn fault, not just Luke's - and he never understood that fast enough. It was always when the heat of the moment was long past.

"And hey, even if we can't directly help, we can still be there. You're all I've got left after all... Well, almost."

You're all I have left. He could have said that better, he inwardly winces - he'd said that before, right before he made things really complicated, and without the little "almost" afterward.

"So, whatever happens, let's stick together."

Predictably, Luke turns bright red at mention of being all Guy has left. Well, almost. He was glad that was almost. It had been... honestly kind of alarming to hear in the first place, especially with how close Luke had been not long ago to taking his own life. He hadn't really thought Guy would care all that much if he disappeared. But he'd never tried to... quantify the important people in Guy's life before. He just assumed they had to be out there. Guy was the one who always had something to do, after all. Always somewhere to be and someone to help. Surely he'd made better friends than Luke by now.

He also didn't know what he felt about the sex that followed, or how he was supposed to take it. And honestly he had been avoiding thinking about it, assuming he wouldn't see Guy for months at best.

He reaches up to tug at the hair of the back of his neck absently, looking to the side and wishing for the blush to die down. At least the fact that he blushed easily -- a lifelong struggle -- meant maybe no one was getting any ideas. The important part was that regardless of everything else, at least this time he knew what Guy was saying.

"Yeah, let's not split up again."

test drive meme

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